The Places A Mind Should Never Go

James Santangelo

Issue 16

2023

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT

A cool spring night. NANSAA (78), is staring at a framed photo labeled MOTHER. In a fit of anger, she SMASHES the frame onto the floor.

Nansaa stares at the ceiling. Her anger quells. She looks out the window. Cool winds blow into the room. A full moon hangs in the night sky. It is reflected by a small lake near the front of the hospital. Looking back to the ceiling, Nansaa closes her eyes with a heavy sigh.

DREAM SEQUENCE: EXT. BACKYARD POOL - AFTERNOON

Nansaa stares at a built-in pool surrounded by a garden. The water splashes near the edges, as if someone was swimming. Nobody is there. To the right in a wooden lawn chair is a young Arab girl (9).

​YOUNG NANSAA

I had so much fun today at school, Omah. Mr.

Prescott said I had the best ever cursive, and he

gave me an elephant sticker! He told us he got

stickers of all our favorite animals so we would

work extra hard!​

YOUNG NANSAA proudly shows the sticker attached to a cursive worksheet. 

The splashes stop. 

They continue. 

Young Nansaa's smile turns to a frown.

YOUNG NANSAA​

Omah, when will we see Baba again? The trip

was over a week ago. He didn't come home to

make halva with me for my birthday yesterday!​

The water stills near the pool edge. Wind chimes begin ringing in the wind, making any response inaudible for Nansaa. She looks confused.

YOUNG NANSAA

​But you said his trip was delayed before too!

The environment begins to melt and move like ocean waves. The wind roars. The wind chimes ring aggressively.

NANSAA

​Where am I? Who’s talking?

The water in the pool remains still. The wind chimes stop ringing. Young Nansaa stares at the edge of the pool.

YOUNG NANSAA

What do we need to talk about? Is Baba okay?

Desperate, Nansaa takes a seat in the lawn chair next to the young girl. The chairs morph, like wax in a constant state of melting and solidifying.

NANSAA

Why am I here? I’m scared, where is my nurse?

Nansaa grabs Young Nansaa by the shoulders as she speaks. Her hands go right through the girl. The wind chimes pick up again, but stop intermittently. A voice is barely audible to Nansaa.

MOTHER

Much…medicine…asleep…

Tears stream down the young girl’s cheeks.

YOUNG NANSAA

​What do you mean Baba is asleep forever? He

won't come back? Who will I make halva with?

He can't make halva with me if he's asleep! Go

wake him up!

Young Nansaa gets up from the chair and kneels next to the edge of the pool. Her arms wrap around air. Nansaa watches with curiosity before looking around. 

Her eyes settle on a bush of SCORPION GRASSES. 

She focuses on them. The surroundings stabilize. A figure appears in the water, a middle-aged Arab woman.

MOTHER

​I’m sorry habibi. Sometimes when people are

too sad they do things that make them sleep for

a long time. But he loved you, oh, how he loved

you. He always asked me about your day at

school when he got home, and he worked so,

so hard to keep us happy.

YOUNG NANSAA

Then why? See him! Why is he asleep? I want

to see him!

MOTHER

There are mean people in this world. People

that do not like us because of where we come

from. Your father lost his job because of them,

and nobody would hire him anymore.

She begins sobbing alongside Young Nansaa. The two hold each other tightly as Mother wipes away the young girl's tears.

MOTHER

We will see him again soon. We’ll make some

halva to give him too, how about that? With

extra honey, just the way he liked it.

Young Nansaa nods. She sniffles. A tear falls down Nansaa’s cheek. She walks to Mother and joins the embrace. Her arms go through Mother during the hug. She closes her eyes to help stop the tears.

NANSAA​

Baba, Omah…I’m sorry. I’m sorry I forgot you.

Will you forgive me? I won’t forget anymore. I

don’t want to forget anymore!

DREAM SEQUENCE: INT. PIANO ROOM - NIGHT

Nansaa opens her eyes. She is now in a candlelit room. A grand piano is in the center. IIRSHAD (72) and OLDER NANSAA enter. Iirshad sits at the piano, his body flickering in and out like a broken light. Older Nansaa sits in a parlor chair.

IIRSHAD

​So Nansaa, you finally decided to retire? How

long have you spent at that middle school

now? Fifty-three years?

OLDER NANSAA

​Around that! About time I say, I don’t know

how much longer I could handle Henderson

being in charge. What kind of principal messes

up scheduling so badly that students have two

classes during a double period? How is that

even feasible?

IIRSHAD

Well, he’s certainly proven himself to be a tool!

Iirshad laughs heartily.

IIRSHAD

​Now. I know I’ve been exciting you all week! A

piano piece for our fortieth anniversary, might

as well put us in a Hallmark movie huh,

habibi?

​OLDER NANSAA

​A Hallmark movie? What are we, superheroes?

Older Nansaa laughs smooths out her cocktail dress. Iirshad's smile turns to a slight frown and he turns around to face the piano.

IIRSHAD​

​Right. Well, allow me to play a song for my

beloved Fila

Discordant music plays as Iirshad’s fingers strike the piano keys. His fingers go through the keys, disappearing into the instrument. After some time, his playing slows and he speaks up.

IIRSHAD

​We need to talk, Nansaa.

OLDER NANSAA​

​Why is that? Is this about the woodshop that

EUSFUR is opening soon? Oh, I knew it

would be hasty. He barely knows how a

business runs! And a woodshop? With all these

big furniture stores coming out, how could he

ever get bus-

Irishad holds up a finger.

IIRSHAD

You’ve been forgetting, habibi.

OLDER NANSAA

Forgetting what? Everyone forgets things

Iirshad, you’ll have to be a little more specific.

IIRSHAD

Yesterday you complained that it was Mrs.

Nevutio that messed up the scheduling. Now

it’s Henderson. Who will it be next?

Older Nansaa becomes silent. She moves to the side of the piano. A vase of SCORPION GRASSES sits on top. She pulls out nine of the blue wildflowers. They are as stiff as she is.

OLDER NANSAA

What do you want me to say?

IIRSHAD

That you're struggling to do things. I've seen

you try to find where the cups are in the

kitchen when you have one right on the

kitchen island. Or you bring out butter knives

instead of forks. We always played it off as a

joke, but something tells me you and I know

what's really happening.

​OLDER NANSAA

I’m not my mother.

IIRSHAD

Nobody ever said you were.

OLDER NANSAA

Why bring this up now if you've noticed so

much before?

Older Nansa looks to Iirshad, her expression flat.

IIRSHAD

Eusfur called me a few days ago. Said he found

you a block away on his way here. You told him

you had to bring something to the post office.

It was near midnight.

OLDER NANSAA

​Fine. So I got a little mixed up. You know how

busy I've been. Retiring soon, we have Eusfur's

shop opening…

IIRSHAD

​Stop making excuses! Can't you see what all of

this denial is doing to you? To us? This isn't a

joke Nansaa, I'm scared!

Iirshad stands up and swipes the flowers out of Older Nansaa’s hands.

IIRSHAD

​You saw your own mother go through this.

You witnessed her bloom into her older years

and then wilt as this took hold of her, ruining

her mind!

OLDER NANSAA

What if I don't want to acknowledge it! Why

don't we just leave it be and pretend it's not

there? Carry on with our lives so we can spend

these last few years we have in quiet peace? Do

you know how much time those doctor

appointments take? The therapy? The

medication and its side effects? All those

precious hours taken away from us. From

Eusfur! You don't know what it's like to grieve

someone while they're still in front of you!

Older Nansaa looks away from Iirshad. 

IIRSHAD

You think I'm not already doing that? Every

morning I fear it's the day you look at me and

wonder who I am. 

Iirshad looks down at the piano. He plays a few keys. He speaks again, his voice cracking.

IIRSHAD

What are we supposed to do on the sidelines

until that happens? Watch you wither away day

by day? What happens when you forget our

anniversary? Do we just ignore it? What about

when you…forget everything? Who we are to

you? Husband? Son?

Older Nansaa and lets out a tear-filled scream, knocking the vase onto the floor. The room starts melting into a black void below. Older Nansaa stomps away, melting into nothingness. Iirshad remains alone before he too melts into the void. Nansaa falls.

DREAM SEQUENCE: INT. WOODSHOP FRONT DESK - MORNING

Older Nansaa, Iirshad, Eusfur (23), Nansaa, and HOSHI (24) are all tidying up the display windows in a woodshop. Bright sunlight streams through the glass, illuminating the front room with an otherworldly glow.

EUSFUR

Baba, can you get the rocking chair from the

back room? It's the last piece to put on display

before we officially open.

​IIRSHAD

Sure thing. Oh, Nansaa, didn't you have

something for them to help spice up the front

desk?

Iirshad leaves. Older Nansaa takes out a bundle of flowers from her bag.

OLDER NANSAA

Omah always had bushes of these growing in

her backyard, and I've picked up on the habit!

Here dear, I know you'll enjoy your work at the

desk much more with these in a pretty vase.

​HOSHI

Thank you! Eusfur never stops talking about

your garden, now I have a piece of it with me!

I've never seen such a vibrant blue before,

what's your secret?

Hoshi walks over to his desk and grabs a vase, carefully putting them inside.

OLDER NANSAA

Ah! It’s all in the water. Too much leads to

root rot, water them once a week, maybe less!

They are a very hardy plant after all.

Iirshad returns with the chair and puts it on display in the shop window. He looks to Eusfur for reassurance, who nods.

EUNSFUR

Now that everything is settled, Omah, Baba, I

wanted to discuss something with you.

Eusfur gestures to a wooden bench near the entrance of the shop. Iirshad and Older Nansaa promptly sit down.

OLDER NANSAA

 What’s wrong? Is everything alright?

EUSFUR

Everything is perfectly fine. It's just…well, I

wanted to tell you something.

Hoshi wraps an arm around Eusfur and smiles reassuringly.

HOSHI

Eusfur, you said you wouldn't get all nervous

again! Iirshad, umm Nansaa, I request your

permission for his hand in marriage.

Eusfur looks sheepish. He puts a hand behind his head and laughs.

IIRSHAD

Oooh, my little sparrow is finally leaving the

nest? About time! I was getting tired of him.

Of course I'll let you marry my boy, Hoshi!​

OLDER NANSAA

Oh, we'll have the most beautiful Arab

wedding for you. I know the best place in town

to get a sherwani. What color does your family

wear for their weddings? Oh, look at me,

already planning ahead!

Nansaa watches from behind the desk. Her lucidity is slowly returning. She wears a bittersweet smile.

Older Nansaa gives Hoshi a tight hug. The boy returns it, his face beet red.

OLDER NANSAA

Come, come! Let us go get some halva from

Akilah's bakery This is a moment to celebrate!

HOSHI

I suppose we can delay the shop's opening for

an hour or two…who can turn down dessert?

Grab the keys, Eusfur!

EUSFUR

Oh, fine! But only because it’s halva! Maybe

they’ll have some laddu too.

Older Nansaa stares blankly for a second and looks around. She recollects herself and takes Hoshi's hand. She pulls him towards the door, looking back to him as she speaks.

OLDER NANSAA

Just wait until your uncle hears about this

Eusfur, oh, he'll want to give you all of his

wedding stuff! 

Hoshi looks confused.

HOSHI

Are you…talking to me?

OLDER NANSAA

​Oh my, I wasn't thinking! Just a slip,

all of this excitement has my brain buzzing.

Iirshad frowns and looks at Eusfur, who shares the same look of concern.

IIRSHAD

Right! Why don't you all go on ahead, I'll close

up the shop for you boys and meet you at the

bakery.

The boys give Iirshad a quick nod of agreement then swiftly leave, being led by the hungry Older Nansaa. 

IIRSHAD

I…

The flowers in the vase wilt rapidly. Iirshad breaks down and falls to his knees when the three are out of sight. He begins sobbing and heaving. Nansaa kneels next to him with an expression of remorse as she rubs his back, her hand going through him.

NANSAA

I'm sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have listened

habibi. You didn't care that we would spend

less time together, all you wanted was for me to

be myself. To remember. And I took that from

you, didn't I? I was so selfish. And it's too late

now, I'm trapped in that room, in a constant

ebb and flow, wilting just like my mother.

Nansaa sighs, closing her eyes.

NANSAA

But I know how much it means to you every

time I do remember. So I will. I'll remember.

Nansaa opens her eyes. Iirshad and the room are gone. A void remains.

NANSAA

I'm sorry I struggled. You must be heartbroken

to see me this way. But know that my life has

been happy, no matter what I'm experiencing

in the moment, I can say I am content.​

The black void deteriorates. Nansaa disappears.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - MORNING
Sunlight streams through the open window. A visibly older Hoshi, Eusfur, and Iirshad are all seated by the hospital bed. A NURSE checks on a sleeping Nansaa. An elephant plush is placed securely in her bed as she sleeps. The broken photo is now replaced with a new frame. After a moment, Nansaa wakes.

EUSFUR

There's our superstar. Did you sleep well,

Omah?

NANSAA

Like a fil under the dark savannah sky, habibi.

How are you and Hoshi? Is he treating you

well? If he isn't he won't get the halva recipe!

Everyone in the room looks bewildered. The nurse swiftly walks out of the room.

HOSHI

I-I, uhm…I promise I'm treating him well! The

shop has been a hit, so we get to treat ourselves

with some nice nights out.

Nansaa smiles wide. She sighs.

NANSAA

I’m sorry.

EUSFUR

Now just what could you be sorry for?

NANSAA

For not trying harder to extend my time with

you. I thought that pushing this all away and

spending more time with everyone would be

better but, clearly that wasn't the case.

​NANSAA

I remember that time in the woodshop. The

piano room. All those moments I broke your

hearts when I thought I was spending the

precious time I had left making valuable

memories. So, before I forget again…I love you

all.

The four of them converge and hug each other. The nurse motions Iirshad to come outside with her. He follows.

INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - MORNING

A mostly empty hospital hallway. Iirshad and the nurse walk away from the room as they speak.

NURSE

This level of lucidity after such a long period of

memory issues is, unfortunately, not always a

good sign. Doctor Porvo believes it's rallying.

IIRSHAD

Rallying?

NURSE

Terminal lucidity. Her brain is expending its

last bits of energy in a large burst which

activates many neurons at once, which explains

the memory recall. The amount of time she has

left is indeterminate. I apologize if this seems

blunt. Go and spend some time with your

family, don't let me take all your time. If you

need me or the doctor, don't hesitate to push

the call button.

Iirshad appears as if he's been prepared for this for a long time. He nods and faces the room, glancing back to the nurse before heading inside.

HOSHI

I grew these myself, you know. I followed your

advice! You know, with the water and all. It was

harder than I thought!

NANSAA

And they're such a vibrant blue that I thought

I grew them myself! You did a wonderful job,

sweetheart. See if you can get the white variety

and some of its other colors. A front yard full

of different shades is just so beautiful.

EUSFUR

We barely have any room with the other plants,

don't entice him!

IIRSHAD

Don't worry Hoshi, I'm sure she has some

seeds somewhere in that shed of hers I can give

to you. Don't listen to what Eusfur says, he's

always been a negative boy!

Iirshad winks at Eusfur and sits down next to Nansaa. He holds her hand and squeezes it tightly.

NANSAA

You know, I'm feeling a little hungry. Can you

go see what's in the cafeteria today? 

HOSHI

Of course. Come on, we should get something

too, we were in such a rush to get here this

morning that someone forgot to stop by the

bagel shop.

EUSFUR

I couldn't find my wallet! Anyways, we’ll see

what they have today, Omah. Be back in a jiffy.

Hoshi and Eusfur leave the room. Nansaa motions for Iirshad to come closer. He leans on her bed, his head resting on his arms.

NANSAA

I'm feeling tired, Iirshad. But it's different.

IIRSHAD

So you know?

NANSAA

I think I've known for a long time. I'm not

scared anymore.

IIRSHAD

You sent them so they didn't have to see, didn't

you?

NANSAA

You know me too well. Make sure they don't

come back before it happens.​

IIRSHAD

I’ll make sure.

Iirshad pauses as he stands.

IIRSHAD

I love you.

NANSAA

I love you too, habibi.

Iirshad gives Nansaa a long look. He readjusts the elephant plush, keeping it tightly nestled in Nansaa’s arms. He fluffs her pillow and straightens her blanket. After a moment of loving silence, he gives Nansaa a kiss.

Iirshad leaves the room.

Nansaa closes her eyes and sighs with a smile. Content.


James Santangelo is a stereotypical “nerd” with interests ranging from the history of witchcraft and the occult to Dungeons & Dragons and video games. With a passion for teaching, he often takes a pedagogical approach to different problems. When he isn’t sitting down and watching the antics of The Golden Girls or playing video games until two in the morning, he can be found working on his screenplays turned novels, A Place a Mind Should Never Go and The Truth of Mount Lyashi.


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