The Places A Mind Should Never Go
James Santangelo
Issue 16
2023
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT
A cool spring night. NANSAA (78), is staring at a framed photo labeled MOTHER. In a fit of anger, she SMASHES the frame onto the floor.
Nansaa stares at the ceiling. Her anger quells. She looks out the window. Cool winds blow into the room. A full moon hangs in the night sky. It is reflected by a small lake near the front of the hospital. Looking back to the ceiling, Nansaa closes her eyes with a heavy sigh.
DREAM SEQUENCE: EXT. BACKYARD POOL - AFTERNOON
Nansaa stares at a built-in pool surrounded by a garden. The water splashes near the edges, as if someone was swimming. Nobody is there. To the right in a wooden lawn chair is a young Arab girl (9).
YOUNG NANSAA
I had so much fun today at school, Omah. Mr.
Prescott said I had the best ever cursive, and he
gave me an elephant sticker! He told us he got
stickers of all our favorite animals so we would
work extra hard!
YOUNG NANSAA proudly shows the sticker attached to a cursive worksheet.
The splashes stop.
They continue.
Young Nansaa's smile turns to a frown.
YOUNG NANSAA
Omah, when will we see Baba again? The trip
was over a week ago. He didn't come home to
make halva with me for my birthday yesterday!
The water stills near the pool edge. Wind chimes begin ringing in the wind, making any response inaudible for Nansaa. She looks confused.
YOUNG NANSAA
But you said his trip was delayed before too!
The environment begins to melt and move like ocean waves. The wind roars. The wind chimes ring aggressively.
NANSAA
Where am I? Who’s talking?
The water in the pool remains still. The wind chimes stop ringing. Young Nansaa stares at the edge of the pool.
YOUNG NANSAA
What do we need to talk about? Is Baba okay?
Desperate, Nansaa takes a seat in the lawn chair next to the young girl. The chairs morph, like wax in a constant state of melting and solidifying.
NANSAA
Why am I here? I’m scared, where is my nurse?
Nansaa grabs Young Nansaa by the shoulders as she speaks. Her hands go right through the girl. The wind chimes pick up again, but stop intermittently. A voice is barely audible to Nansaa.
MOTHER
Much…medicine…asleep…
Tears stream down the young girl’s cheeks.
YOUNG NANSAA
What do you mean Baba is asleep forever? He
won't come back? Who will I make halva with?
He can't make halva with me if he's asleep! Go
wake him up!
Young Nansaa gets up from the chair and kneels next to the edge of the pool. Her arms wrap around air. Nansaa watches with curiosity before looking around.
Her eyes settle on a bush of SCORPION GRASSES.
She focuses on them. The surroundings stabilize. A figure appears in the water, a middle-aged Arab woman.
MOTHER
I’m sorry habibi. Sometimes when people are
too sad they do things that make them sleep for
a long time. But he loved you, oh, how he loved
you. He always asked me about your day at
school when he got home, and he worked so,
so hard to keep us happy.
YOUNG NANSAA
Then why? See him! Why is he asleep? I want
to see him!
MOTHER
There are mean people in this world. People
that do not like us because of where we come
from. Your father lost his job because of them,
and nobody would hire him anymore.
She begins sobbing alongside Young Nansaa. The two hold each other tightly as Mother wipes away the young girl's tears.
MOTHER
We will see him again soon. We’ll make some
halva to give him too, how about that? With
extra honey, just the way he liked it.
Young Nansaa nods. She sniffles. A tear falls down Nansaa’s cheek. She walks to Mother and joins the embrace. Her arms go through Mother during the hug. She closes her eyes to help stop the tears.
NANSAA
Baba, Omah…I’m sorry. I’m sorry I forgot you.
Will you forgive me? I won’t forget anymore. I
don’t want to forget anymore!
DREAM SEQUENCE: INT. PIANO ROOM - NIGHT
Nansaa opens her eyes. She is now in a candlelit room. A grand piano is in the center. IIRSHAD (72) and OLDER NANSAA enter. Iirshad sits at the piano, his body flickering in and out like a broken light. Older Nansaa sits in a parlor chair.
IIRSHAD
So Nansaa, you finally decided to retire? How
long have you spent at that middle school
now? Fifty-three years?
OLDER NANSAA
Around that! About time I say, I don’t know
how much longer I could handle Henderson
being in charge. What kind of principal messes
up scheduling so badly that students have two
classes during a double period? How is that
even feasible?
IIRSHAD
Well, he’s certainly proven himself to be a tool!
Iirshad laughs heartily.
IIRSHAD
Now. I know I’ve been exciting you all week! A
piano piece for our fortieth anniversary, might
as well put us in a Hallmark movie huh,
habibi?
OLDER NANSAA
A Hallmark movie? What are we, superheroes?
Older Nansaa laughs smooths out her cocktail dress. Iirshad's smile turns to a slight frown and he turns around to face the piano.
IIRSHAD
Right. Well, allow me to play a song for my
beloved Fila
Discordant music plays as Iirshad’s fingers strike the piano keys. His fingers go through the keys, disappearing into the instrument. After some time, his playing slows and he speaks up.
IIRSHAD
We need to talk, Nansaa.
OLDER NANSAA
Why is that? Is this about the woodshop that
EUSFUR is opening soon? Oh, I knew it
would be hasty. He barely knows how a
business runs! And a woodshop? With all these
big furniture stores coming out, how could he
ever get bus-
Irishad holds up a finger.
IIRSHAD
You’ve been forgetting, habibi.
OLDER NANSAA
Forgetting what? Everyone forgets things
Iirshad, you’ll have to be a little more specific.
IIRSHAD
Yesterday you complained that it was Mrs.
Nevutio that messed up the scheduling. Now
it’s Henderson. Who will it be next?
Older Nansaa becomes silent. She moves to the side of the piano. A vase of SCORPION GRASSES sits on top. She pulls out nine of the blue wildflowers. They are as stiff as she is.
OLDER NANSAA
What do you want me to say?
IIRSHAD
That you're struggling to do things. I've seen
you try to find where the cups are in the
kitchen when you have one right on the
kitchen island. Or you bring out butter knives
instead of forks. We always played it off as a
joke, but something tells me you and I know
what's really happening.
OLDER NANSAA
I’m not my mother.
IIRSHAD
Nobody ever said you were.
OLDER NANSAA
Why bring this up now if you've noticed so
much before?
Older Nansa looks to Iirshad, her expression flat.
IIRSHAD
Eusfur called me a few days ago. Said he found
you a block away on his way here. You told him
you had to bring something to the post office.
It was near midnight.
OLDER NANSAA
Fine. So I got a little mixed up. You know how
busy I've been. Retiring soon, we have Eusfur's
shop opening…
IIRSHAD
Stop making excuses! Can't you see what all of
this denial is doing to you? To us? This isn't a
joke Nansaa, I'm scared!
Iirshad stands up and swipes the flowers out of Older Nansaa’s hands.
IIRSHAD
You saw your own mother go through this.
You witnessed her bloom into her older years
and then wilt as this took hold of her, ruining
her mind!
OLDER NANSAA
What if I don't want to acknowledge it! Why
don't we just leave it be and pretend it's not
there? Carry on with our lives so we can spend
these last few years we have in quiet peace? Do
you know how much time those doctor
appointments take? The therapy? The
medication and its side effects? All those
precious hours taken away from us. From
Eusfur! You don't know what it's like to grieve
someone while they're still in front of you!
Older Nansaa looks away from Iirshad.
IIRSHAD
You think I'm not already doing that? Every
morning I fear it's the day you look at me and
wonder who I am.
Iirshad looks down at the piano. He plays a few keys. He speaks again, his voice cracking.
IIRSHAD
What are we supposed to do on the sidelines
until that happens? Watch you wither away day
by day? What happens when you forget our
anniversary? Do we just ignore it? What about
when you…forget everything? Who we are to
you? Husband? Son?
Older Nansaa and lets out a tear-filled scream, knocking the vase onto the floor. The room starts melting into a black void below. Older Nansaa stomps away, melting into nothingness. Iirshad remains alone before he too melts into the void. Nansaa falls.
DREAM SEQUENCE: INT. WOODSHOP FRONT DESK - MORNING
Older Nansaa, Iirshad, Eusfur (23), Nansaa, and HOSHI (24) are all tidying up the display windows in a woodshop. Bright sunlight streams through the glass, illuminating the front room with an otherworldly glow.
EUSFUR
Baba, can you get the rocking chair from the
back room? It's the last piece to put on display
before we officially open.
IIRSHAD
Sure thing. Oh, Nansaa, didn't you have
something for them to help spice up the front
desk?
Iirshad leaves. Older Nansaa takes out a bundle of flowers from her bag.
OLDER NANSAA
Omah always had bushes of these growing in
her backyard, and I've picked up on the habit!
Here dear, I know you'll enjoy your work at the
desk much more with these in a pretty vase.
HOSHI
Thank you! Eusfur never stops talking about
your garden, now I have a piece of it with me!
I've never seen such a vibrant blue before,
what's your secret?
Hoshi walks over to his desk and grabs a vase, carefully putting them inside.
OLDER NANSAA
Ah! It’s all in the water. Too much leads to
root rot, water them once a week, maybe less!
They are a very hardy plant after all.
Iirshad returns with the chair and puts it on display in the shop window. He looks to Eusfur for reassurance, who nods.
EUNSFUR
Now that everything is settled, Omah, Baba, I
wanted to discuss something with you.
Eusfur gestures to a wooden bench near the entrance of the shop. Iirshad and Older Nansaa promptly sit down.
OLDER NANSAA
What’s wrong? Is everything alright?
EUSFUR
Everything is perfectly fine. It's just…well, I
wanted to tell you something.
Hoshi wraps an arm around Eusfur and smiles reassuringly.
HOSHI
Eusfur, you said you wouldn't get all nervous
again! Iirshad, umm Nansaa, I request your
permission for his hand in marriage.
Eusfur looks sheepish. He puts a hand behind his head and laughs.
IIRSHAD
Oooh, my little sparrow is finally leaving the
nest? About time! I was getting tired of him.
Of course I'll let you marry my boy, Hoshi!
OLDER NANSAA
Oh, we'll have the most beautiful Arab
wedding for you. I know the best place in town
to get a sherwani. What color does your family
wear for their weddings? Oh, look at me,
already planning ahead!
Nansaa watches from behind the desk. Her lucidity is slowly returning. She wears a bittersweet smile.
Older Nansaa gives Hoshi a tight hug. The boy returns it, his face beet red.
OLDER NANSAA
Come, come! Let us go get some halva from
Akilah's bakery This is a moment to celebrate!
HOSHI
I suppose we can delay the shop's opening for
an hour or two…who can turn down dessert?
Grab the keys, Eusfur!
EUSFUR
Oh, fine! But only because it’s halva! Maybe
they’ll have some laddu too.
Older Nansaa stares blankly for a second and looks around. She recollects herself and takes Hoshi's hand. She pulls him towards the door, looking back to him as she speaks.
OLDER NANSAA
Just wait until your uncle hears about this
Eusfur, oh, he'll want to give you all of his
wedding stuff!
Hoshi looks confused.
HOSHI
Are you…talking to me?
OLDER NANSAA
Oh my, I wasn't thinking! Just a slip,
all of this excitement has my brain buzzing.
Iirshad frowns and looks at Eusfur, who shares the same look of concern.
IIRSHAD
Right! Why don't you all go on ahead, I'll close
up the shop for you boys and meet you at the
bakery.
The boys give Iirshad a quick nod of agreement then swiftly leave, being led by the hungry Older Nansaa.
IIRSHAD
I…
The flowers in the vase wilt rapidly. Iirshad breaks down and falls to his knees when the three are out of sight. He begins sobbing and heaving. Nansaa kneels next to him with an expression of remorse as she rubs his back, her hand going through him.
NANSAA
I'm sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have listened
habibi. You didn't care that we would spend
less time together, all you wanted was for me to
be myself. To remember. And I took that from
you, didn't I? I was so selfish. And it's too late
now, I'm trapped in that room, in a constant
ebb and flow, wilting just like my mother.
Nansaa sighs, closing her eyes.
NANSAA
But I know how much it means to you every
time I do remember. So I will. I'll remember.
Nansaa opens her eyes. Iirshad and the room are gone. A void remains.
NANSAA
I'm sorry I struggled. You must be heartbroken
to see me this way. But know that my life has
been happy, no matter what I'm experiencing
in the moment, I can say I am content.
The black void deteriorates. Nansaa disappears.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - MORNING
Sunlight streams through the open window. A visibly older Hoshi, Eusfur, and Iirshad are all seated by the hospital bed. A NURSE checks on a sleeping Nansaa. An elephant plush is placed securely in her bed as she sleeps. The broken photo is now replaced with a new frame. After a moment, Nansaa wakes.
EUSFUR
There's our superstar. Did you sleep well,
Omah?
NANSAA
Like a fil under the dark savannah sky, habibi.
How are you and Hoshi? Is he treating you
well? If he isn't he won't get the halva recipe!
Everyone in the room looks bewildered. The nurse swiftly walks out of the room.
HOSHI
I-I, uhm…I promise I'm treating him well! The
shop has been a hit, so we get to treat ourselves
with some nice nights out.
Nansaa smiles wide. She sighs.
NANSAA
I’m sorry.
EUSFUR
Now just what could you be sorry for?
NANSAA
For not trying harder to extend my time with
you. I thought that pushing this all away and
spending more time with everyone would be
better but, clearly that wasn't the case.
NANSAA
I remember that time in the woodshop. The
piano room. All those moments I broke your
hearts when I thought I was spending the
precious time I had left making valuable
memories. So, before I forget again…I love you
all.
The four of them converge and hug each other. The nurse motions Iirshad to come outside with her. He follows.
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - MORNING
A mostly empty hospital hallway. Iirshad and the nurse walk away from the room as they speak.
NURSE
This level of lucidity after such a long period of
memory issues is, unfortunately, not always a
good sign. Doctor Porvo believes it's rallying.
IIRSHAD
Rallying?
NURSE
Terminal lucidity. Her brain is expending its
last bits of energy in a large burst which
activates many neurons at once, which explains
the memory recall. The amount of time she has
left is indeterminate. I apologize if this seems
blunt. Go and spend some time with your
family, don't let me take all your time. If you
need me or the doctor, don't hesitate to push
the call button.
Iirshad appears as if he's been prepared for this for a long time. He nods and faces the room, glancing back to the nurse before heading inside.
HOSHI
I grew these myself, you know. I followed your
advice! You know, with the water and all. It was
harder than I thought!
NANSAA
And they're such a vibrant blue that I thought
I grew them myself! You did a wonderful job,
sweetheart. See if you can get the white variety
and some of its other colors. A front yard full
of different shades is just so beautiful.
EUSFUR
We barely have any room with the other plants,
don't entice him!
IIRSHAD
Don't worry Hoshi, I'm sure she has some
seeds somewhere in that shed of hers I can give
to you. Don't listen to what Eusfur says, he's
always been a negative boy!
Iirshad winks at Eusfur and sits down next to Nansaa. He holds her hand and squeezes it tightly.
NANSAA
You know, I'm feeling a little hungry. Can you
go see what's in the cafeteria today?
HOSHI
Of course. Come on, we should get something
too, we were in such a rush to get here this
morning that someone forgot to stop by the
bagel shop.
EUSFUR
I couldn't find my wallet! Anyways, we’ll see
what they have today, Omah. Be back in a jiffy.
Hoshi and Eusfur leave the room. Nansaa motions for Iirshad to come closer. He leans on her bed, his head resting on his arms.
NANSAA
I'm feeling tired, Iirshad. But it's different.
IIRSHAD
So you know?
NANSAA
I think I've known for a long time. I'm not
scared anymore.
IIRSHAD
You sent them so they didn't have to see, didn't
you?
NANSAA
You know me too well. Make sure they don't
come back before it happens.
IIRSHAD
I’ll make sure.
Iirshad pauses as he stands.
IIRSHAD
I love you.
NANSAA
I love you too, habibi.
Iirshad gives Nansaa a long look. He readjusts the elephant plush, keeping it tightly nestled in Nansaa’s arms. He fluffs her pillow and straightens her blanket. After a moment of loving silence, he gives Nansaa a kiss.
Iirshad leaves the room.
Nansaa closes her eyes and sighs with a smile. Content.
James Santangelo is a stereotypical “nerd” with interests ranging from the history of witchcraft and the occult to Dungeons & Dragons and video games. With a passion for teaching, he often takes a pedagogical approach to different problems. When he isn’t sitting down and watching the antics of The Golden Girls or playing video games until two in the morning, he can be found working on his screenplays turned novels, A Place a Mind Should Never Go and The Truth of Mount Lyashi.